How to Date the Christian way
Did you know that non-believers’ marriages divorce rate is now at 50%, so is believers’ marriages. So where then do we go wrong? Let’s look at where It all starts.
It all starts when you are dating so it’s only of importance that we critically look at how to date the Christian way. Here are ways that can help you maneuver dating as a young Christian
Sex before marriage
(1 Thessalonians 4:3) For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
This is the one thing young believers have had to struggle with; Sex before marriage. Most of them get into it due to peer pressure and esteem issues. If only they knew the impact it has.
As a believer, keep away from any temptations that will lead you to engage in premarital sex. Avoid secluded places, touching and engaging in any form of intimacy. Keep it pure and concentrate on getting to know each other in other areas. You will have plenty of sex when you get married. I always say sex clouds your judgment as it connects two people on a deeper level.
Jesus is the Rock upon which I can build my life and when I build on Him and the absolute truth of His Word, my life will withstand every trial and test. (Matthew 7:24-27)
Let God be the foundation of your relationship. Cement this by doing fellowship together; praying together and for each other, learning and teaching each other the word of God. In short, share your spiritual journey together and grow each other in spirit. A happy and fulfilling marriage starts with a relationship that was built on a strong Godly foundation. It all starts with dating, do not be deceived that it will happen in marriage if it did not start with dating.
Be with someone who brings out your true identity in God and pulls you to Jesus every time you slide back
Set boundaries and limits
As Christians, you know the importance of putting boundaries. Do not be forced into anything that is against your faith, values, and conscience.
Let Love be your guide, not lust
(1 John 2:16 NIV) For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.
Most people dating are led by lust for each other. They confuse lust with love more so at the beginning of a relationship. If you feel so overwhelmed by emotions, be aware that you are lustful of your partner which often leads to premature intimacy. Do not give in to the desires of your flesh, remember Lust is a sin.
You will know you are lustful when all you do focus on is their physical appearance, you cannot clearly make a good judge of character and you are uncomfortable about being yourself.
Do not be unequally yoked
(2 Cor. 6:14) don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? (NLT)
Look for a partner with whom you share your faith with; a fellow Christian not just by word but by actions and faith. The bible clearly states that a believer should not be engaged with a non-believer.
Make your dating as enjoyable and memorable as possible. Get to know each other in different spaces where you can learn each other well. Just because you have chosen to do it the Christian way doesn’t mean it has to be boring. You can go for picnics, hiking, nature walks, coffee, dinners and lunches
Be firm on your values
Hold on tightly to your Christian values; do not let your guard down to please your partner. Your values are what define you, don’t lose yourself. Have a list of the values you would want your future spouse to have and stick to them as well. This is will guide you into who to date and if the relationship you are in will yield something.
If you feel that you do not complement each other or your partner is forcing you to do something against what you believe in, please flee from that relationship. This is a recipe for a disastrous marriage.
Do not hide your date
When dating, make it a point for your friends who are believers to meet your partner and engage with them. Most times we are clouded with our feelings but our friends and family will be able to pick a thing or two from your partner and from your relationship that can save us heartache. They can tell whether they are a good fit for us or not.
Dating is hard more so the Christian way. It’s good that you know yourself, love yourself and are confident in yourself to avoid being swayed. Marriage is neither a bed of roses nor a bed of thorns, it starts with the right footing; dating right. Date with a purpose of finding a marriage partner, whom you will share a fulfilling and happy marriage as designed by God because marriage is a reflection of our relationship with him.
Daisy Chepkoech is a Freelance Blog Writer, Social Media Manager and Trainer. She is also the Marketing Director at Dake Business Solutions. Daisy holds a Bachelors degree in Communication and Media Technology from Maseno University.